Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The many faces of BDSM

Bondage and Discipline. Dominance and submission. Sadism and Masochism. That's a lot for one little acronym to cover.

In the world of BDSM erotica you can find books that cover a little consensual slap and tickle all the way up to pretty extreme non-consensual total slavery. It's all fiction, so it's all good. But everyone won't enjoy every BDSM book out there. It's important to know what works for you, and what doesn't work for you, or you're liable to get a book that doesn't go far enough for your tastes... or one that goes too far.

Are you into power exchange? How far do you want the power exchange to go? Only in the bedroom, or 24/7? Only for things related to sex, or for every aspect of their life?

How about pain? Do you like the Sadism and masochism aspect? How much? A little warming of a bottom, or a full out intense caning?

And then there is the consensual versus the non-consensual. Personally, when reading I like the books that play around with non-consent in a totally consensual way. Occasionally I can get into a kidnap type non-consent book, also. But when writing, I tend to write totally consensual relationships.

There is also the gender question, whether the story is two guys, two girls, a male Dom and female submissive, or a female Domme and male submissive. Or some combination of those when you start talking about three or more people in a relationship. Some people can only enjoy one type of paring, other people enjoy the power exchange itself and the gender of the people isn't all that important.

Some people enjoy human pony and human puppy play, others are turned off by the very idea. It's not something I enjoy in real life, but when written well it totally works for me. That's the beauty of fiction.

We mustn't forget the B&D portion of our acronym. In real life comfortable bondage is a lot more realistic than most of what is written, but books are fantasy and that means the uncomfortable kind of bondage jumps off the page a whole lot better. And then there is the discipline issue - some people are turned off by one adult disciplining another adult, others don't enjoy a power exchange book without it.

There is no one book that is going to please everyone - and in the world of BDSM erotica, that is probably more true than for any other kind of book.

There are no right or wrong answers here, whatever works for you is what works for you, and those are the types of books you should seek out. Sometimes it's not so easy to tell by the blurb, though, is it?


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