Friday, April 15, 2011

Fantasy or Realism?

Hi, Kinky Ever After readers. First I want to thank Annabel, Anneke, and Candace for inviting me to join them here. What an impressive, thoughtful, and entertaining set of posts they’ve been making! I’ve been catching up reading them and it’s been a lot of fun. I held back some comments because if I went that route, I’d run out of time for writing a post of my own.

I’ve been mulling lately about the line between fantasy and reality in BDSM romances. I’ve generally tried to stay realistic, and part of what I mean by that is that play in my books is usually very safe, sane, and consensual. The relationships develop a bit fast, because of the limitations of a book, but even in the two books I wrote with vampires everyone has a safe word. The Doms are Doms you might meet in a club, or at a play party. They feel like people I know -- not like any individual, but they’d fit in with people I’ve met in the BDSM scene. A few reviewers have called my books good introductory BDSM books, and I’m pleased by that. There’s at least more good information in them than misinformation.

My next book coming out doesn’t really fit that mode. It’s a ménage, and that alone doesn’t necessarily cross the line. I have seen relationships with more than two people work. I don’t remember seeing a relationship with two dominants and one sub work past a scene or two, but I wouldn’t rule that out. However, my dominants are twins, and that, from my point of view, is verging into pure fantasy territory. But it’s hot, and it lets me do some fun things with the plot. The book coming out after that is a fantasy in the Lord of the Rings sense, so the hero doesn’t come from the kind of society that can debate the virtues of SSC vs. RACK. Or safe sex. If anyone is getting their ideas about what BDSM is like from those two books -- well, hopefully people won’t take them that seriously, and just enjoy what I hope is a pleasurable ride.

So what are you looking for when you pick up a BDSM romance? A book that shows the real world of BDSM, or a flight of fancy?


  1. Yay new author! Hi!

    Also, I read books for the fantasy and the romance. I don't spend the whole time worrying if they have a safe word because I know its not real. It is sort of hot reading the kinky stuff without any safeguards.

  2. Hello Ms. Yssel,

    I've read your bondage ranch series and enjoyed them. I actually recommend yours along side with Cherise Sinclair's Dom books to newbies interested in the BDSM lifestyle. I can trust both of you to have realistic almost "how to" manuals in an ideal world. It gives them a baseline so they can understand what is real before they go into fantasy. I like both styles. I tend to lean more towards fantasy only because I like the harder stuff that isn't always technically possible. SSC is all good for RL but in my books, I'm not too into SSC. My lines are much more blurred for books

    Still, I have to note I read a book recently that was supposed to be a great BDSM book. It was picked as a Book of the Month reading - Topping from Below. I hated the book and felt it did a disservice to the BDSM subculture. I'm never reading another book from that author nor do I recommend a single one of my friends to read that author. And when asked by others in the book groups I'm in, I send them to my review so they can see first hand why I didn't like the book. I don't actively find people to tell them to avoid the author nor do I waste time on a crusade against the author. I only provide my review of the book which I found reprehensible.

  3. Good points, both. I'm glad you enjoyed my books, LCF. I think most good Doms like to teach, so a little "how to" comes about naturally from that interaction, and a smart sub is on the lookout to make sure that a Dom knows what he's doing and can be trusted, so there's a little there too.

    I started reading Topping from Below when it came out, and couldn't finish, and even after I googled it just now it took a while to remember why it sounded familiar.