Saturday, April 23, 2011

Guest Blog: Master, Sir or… Daddy

Today we have a guest blog from Fyn Alexander, author of Precious Jade, Angel and the Assassin, and Angel and the Assassin 2: Be Brave. Fyn writes M/m BDSM, and does a really good job showing how power exchange relationships can work on a day to day basis.

Master, Sir or... Daddy
by Fyn Alexander

I have known women who called their husband Daddy. Many women/girls like the idea of the powerful, loving, but exacting father figure. The iconic Daddy. I’ve even wanted one myself a few times.

But a grown man wanting to call another man Daddy? How does that work?

In my first book, Precious Jade, the submissive young man, Jade, calls his Dom Sir or Master. Jade is 18 years old and his Master is 40. The age gap, together with the maturity of the older man, makes him a natural father figure, and whenever Jade is terribly upset, (he’s often a bit upset, being naturally histrionic) he instinctively calls his Master Daddy. In the final scene Jade tells his Master, “You are my father, my mentor, my sun and moon.” Jade’s Master is a dominant alpha male, but he can be a Daddy on occasion when Jade needs him to.

When the idea for Angel and the Assassin came to me I wanted to further explore the concept of the Daddy/boy relationship; the loving, supportive yet very dominant man and the boy who needs his guidance. A man whose sub trusts him with his life. Kael Saunders, MI6 assassin, is not the ideal Daddy type. He is selfish and single-minded. He not only kills people for a living, but he kills people who get in his way. Kael meets a boy who desperately wants a Daddy and as the story progresses he attempts to rise to the challenge.

A Daddy is a Dom who delivers strong discipline tempered with kindness and lots of support. Angel defines a Daddy for Kael like this, “A daddy means acceptance and kindness and protection. Stuff like that. Teaching me things. Making me smart.”

Daddy as mentor.

I love the interplay of the older, experienced man nurturing the younger, inexperienced boy along the path to manhood. And doing it well. Kael has his faults, but he loves his mum, and he always opens door for ladies. If he was a pig with women he would be a bad example to his boy. A father is supposed to show his son how to behave in the world. He gives him the tools to be a real man. It’s a bit like the knights of old and the code of chivalry; bravery, courtesy, honour and gallantry toward women. In his own way, Kael teaches Angel these things. He fulfills his role as a Daddy, mentoring his boy with love and kindness to take his place in the world.

When the reviews for Angel and the Assassin came out, people either loved it or they didn’t. There wasn’t much in between. What surprised me was that those who didn’t like it were uncomfortable with the Daddy kink. Knowing it is a popular dynamic in the BDSM community, I was genuinely surprised that anyone took offense at it. Daddy/boy is not about age play, or AB/DL. It is about a man helping a boy become a man.

For me a Master/Sir is like Marcus Wynterbourne in Precious Jade. He is exacting, uncompromising, demanding, and has little patience for mistakes, yet his love for Jade always shines through. A Daddy is what Kael Saunders becomes. He disciplines with love and understanding, teaches with great thought and care, and loves unconditionally.

When it is suggested to Angel that his calling Kael Daddy is a kink, Angel responds, “It’s not a kink. It’s a mark of respect.”

That sums up the Daddy/boy dynamic for me.


  1. “It’s not a kink. It’s a mark of respect.” Wow I love that line. It really struck home for me.

  2. I enjoyed both of the Angel and the Assassin books. To me, whether the Top is called Sir, Master, Daddy, or Your Highness... the label doesn't much matter. But for some people, the Daddy label is a huge squick factor.

    I would never be comfortable using the label, but it doesn't bother me when others do. And the way it was written in the book didn't bother me. For these two characters, it worked.