I get a lot of flack from readers of As She’s Told, indignant with Anders for “denying Maia pleasure.”
Does anyone else get off on the word “No”? As in, “No, you’re not allowed to come.” Said in an offhand tone, as if any urgency is immaterial and the date of release is so distant as to be not worth considering.
I personally go for the offhand tone. But some verbal emphasis could work, too, if you play it right.
As for being “denied pleasure,” teasing and denial are anything but. The pleasure is drawn out, prolonged, intensified. No routine sexual experience here. The episode doesn’t end, it goes on. Through the evening, through the weekend, through weeks or months…. “Never!” I hear you say. “I could never wait that long!” Each to their own. No matter what the delay -- the teasing, excruciating delay -- an hour or a month -- the orgasm when it’s finally granted will be shattering.
This kink can run the gamut from equal-partner experimentation all the way to total power exchange, as in As She’s Told, where Maia has to wait long, and wait hard, for Anders to grant her some mercy. While he, of course, gets off whenever he wants. “It’s not fair!” some readers have said. No, it’s not fair. It’s not supposed to be fair. Is it possible to get off on just how unfair it is?
Here are Maia’s streetcar thoughts:
He had me. My god, he really had me.
You would think that it would be orgasms, that summit of purest pleasure, that would tie me to him. A conditioned response bringing me always back for more.
But after fulfilment one can move on. Make weekend plans. Read the paper. Go out for sushi. Or at least get on with one’s slavegirl day. Not me. I stood, trapped at that barred threshold, unable to see any other path, much less take it. In the absolute grip of the gatekeeper.
Imagine being more or less continuously aroused. Going about your day unable to think for long about anything else. Imagine being teased to incoherence, teased to the point of begging.
If that strikes a chord, there’s a great site called Tantalism.org, with all sorts of contributions from people engaged in teasing and denial at every kind of level. Except for stories, the readers’ contributions seem to be entirely consensual. (And mostly based on willpower. Not for me; my preferences is for metal and keys; more on that in a later Kink Monday.) This kind of play makes for a subtle and fine-tuned partnership, based on trust and deepening mutual enjoyment.
As a fetish, teasing and denial has generated a fair amount of paraphernalia. Dildos, vibrating clips, even remote control vibrators for sneaky public fun. But a simple bit of rope harness might do as well.
Play it any way you like: in or out of the bedroom, short- or long-term, by mutual agreement or unequal and gorgeously unfair – as an erotic intensifier, teasing and denial can’t be beat.