Kink Monday: Tens Units

I'm a wimp when it comes to electricity. I've tried electricity - electrodes hooked up to me and then given juice by someone who knows what they are doing. Twice, but never again. It's now a hard limit. I've tried Violet Wands more than twice, because there are so many people who just love what they do... but my skin is apparently not capable of turning it into pleasure. Thus, another hard limit.

But Tens Units? Ahhh, those are a different story entirely. The sensation can feel like electricity, but it can also be a buzzing vibration instead of the sharp knife of straight electricity. It can also be made to just feel like the muscle underneath is flexing, and not feel like electricity at all. By using that effect, it is possible to make you feel as if you are being fucked, when nothing is touching you. You can take it one step further and hook it up to a butt plug made for a TENS and you can literally feel as if you are being fucked in the ass, when nothing is moving. Well, nothing except for your muscles.

Tens stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation, and the definition of Transcutaneous is basically "across the depth of the skin". In other words, the electricity is staying on the skin and not sinking in where it could be dangerous. There are people who advise against using them above the waist, but my husband has had a valve replaced in his heart and I asked his cardiologist if we could use the tens unit on his back for back pain - right over his heart - and was told 'no problem'. If it's no problem in someone who has had heart surgery then surely it's no problem for someone with a healthy heart. However, with that being said, we still don't cross the electricity from one nipple to the other, we put a positive and negative on each nipple to contain the electricity there, just to be doubly safe.

Tens units were originally used as pain management. You can put the electrodes in a pattern around what hurts and trick the nerve cells into not sending pain messages to your brain. They originally cost thousands of dollars and could only be obtained through a doctor, but today you can buy the base models for around $20 and the more advanced models for around $30. The unit pictured is a five mode model that sells for $31.50 with free shipping.

So how do you use something intended for pain management as a sex toy? It seems like there is a huge learning curve at first, but there doesn't have to be. Here are some things to remember:

• Using large pads puts the jolt over a large surface, small pads over a small surface. Both have their uses. Start with the pads that come with it, play around with them, and then decide what kind you want to buy next. Generally speaking, the smaller the electrode the more intense it can be.
• You may have to play around with the pattern. Try two electrodes to start, positive on one side and negative on the other, adjust them so there is a horizontal line running right across the body part you are targeting, and then go through all of the modes and a lot of different power levels. Try it again so that the line is diagonal, see if it feels different.
• There are a couple of ways to use four electrodes around a single point. By using the positive and negative pads you can adjust them so there is a line of electricity running horizontal above and another line of electricity running horizontal below, or you can make it so there is a vertical line on the right and another vertical line on the left. Lastly, arrange them so they will make an X across the body part in question.
• What part of the body? Surround the clit, surround the pussy, surround the ass. Or surround the clit and pussy and send juice to both areas on different modes, if you really want to blow someone's mind. If you want to surround the nipple you might want to read this primer, as it explains a little more about why you want to put a positive and negative at each nipple and not string the electricity back and forth. It should be safe to go back and forth, but why take the risk when it's probably more intense to focus on them individually.
• Here is a page that shows where to place electrodes for pain in various places. This should give an idea of how to place them for sex play - you're just targeting other areas. There are also some youtube demonstrations of how to use them for back pain that are quite explanatory.

I think this is long enough at this point, so I won't talk at length about specialty attachments. There are ways to surround the clit, for instance, that are downright devious. It clenches and unclenches and can feel like someone has a vice grip around it without actually touching it. It can pull up so tight that all of the lips around it are pulling with it.

Sometimes, when the Top wants to hurt you, but doesn't feel up to swinging a flogger or wielding a cane, the Tens can be the perfect solution for them. Put the pads on, sit back, fiddle with dials, watch the wiggling and hear the screaming.

Oh, for any Tops reading this... we have zero orgasm control when the thing is around our clit. Please don't expect us to be able to hold back. It's not possible.