Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hung like a #*^%$!

Our topic for the day is one I have LONG considered. It is a WIDEly debated topic of some GIRTH. That's right, it's the issue of penis size in romance!

I had to giggle when I first got my "author's handbook" from Ellora's Cave. In it, they chide authors not to write heroes with massive man meat--their point being that the average penis size of most men is around six inches.

To this I say: I am not interested in average penis size, not when we're talking about the hunks in MY books! No, no, no, my heroes must be breathtaking--nay--spectacular! Now, I'm not saying they have to be so large they injure the heroine or anything. They don't have to be packing a baseball bat, just something slightly better than average. I mean, think about it. Heroes are heroes because they are better than your average Joe. Why not give them a hunk of junk to match?

And oh...the balls must be heavy and pendulous. Damn skippy!

I suppose I fell in love with hung men during my formative 80's romance reading years. Back then all the heroines were virgins too, so there was always that lovely de-virginizing scene where the hero had to cram his oversized tool into her tight gripping sheath while she gasped and struggled beneath him. Of course, she could only survive this trauma because she was clasped in his strong, tender arms. Sigh...

Even now, when most of what I read and write doesn't involve virgins, I still want the hero's equipment to make the heroine's eyes go wide when he drops his pants. Maybe that makes me a pervert. Surely it makes me a size girl. When you add power exchange into the mix, fantasy penis size becomes even more important to me. Doms need big cocks. It's just a fact.

Ellora's Cave, I do not agree with your cock-size guidelines. In fact, I strongly disagree! Long live thick throbbing hero-cock.

What about you? How do you like your hero? Average/realistic, larger-than-average, or over the top?

5 comments:

  1. Realistic has always been more than large enough for me in real life, so it's fine for me in fantasy too. But.... larger than average is just so fun too!

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  2. First of all, shame on you Ellora's Cave! *slaps their hand* I don't want to read about average. I want larger than average!!

    I will say that "over the top" penis-size can get silly. I read a book called Devil's Pact where the hero had a *huge* penis, 12-inches long, super-duper thick, and the heroine was a tiny thing! She was described as under 5-feet tall. What?!? How would that even work?

    ~ Diana

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  3. In one of the stories I've currently got out for submission the hero is much larger than average. He's a big guy - larger than life in everything he does. How could I make any part of him average?

    I'm actually okay with either big or average in fiction. If every single book described a bigger than average guy then it would probably get old, but there seems to be a pretty good variety of sizes described.

    My perfect fantasy is the wide and short version; so descriptions of long and slender don't do much for me. Other than that, I'm good with it either way.

    Some Doms do have a personality that calls for them to have more to work with, though. I can't argue that.

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  4. I want my larger than life heroes to have larger than life man parts (think Acheron from Sherrilyn Kenyon). However, I am driven to distraction by authors who like to constantly mention slapping balls and the meat being so large as to be overfilling! Eeewwwww... It's really refreshing when the hero is "normal" sized but really knows what to do with it.

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  5. Wow. I never thought I'd see this on an author blog. Now I know why I don't read many Ellora books. I confess. I'm GUILTY! I am a size queen.

    I don't think 6 inches is average. I don't know who says this. It's a lie. A damn lie. That is below average.

    As for girth, if the circumference isn't equal to the length, then I'm not happy. And it better be longer than the supposed average.

    Yes, 12 inches is unrealistic, but it is kind of fun to think about. I guess I also have to confess to a thing for aliens with two dicks. Ever since Ms. Morgan Hawke's series, I can't stop thinking about them...

    Is this wrong?

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