Friday, September 16, 2011

It's Just Not The Same

For the last four years I've been writing erotic romances with BDSM elements in them. I enjoy those stories, the characters, and the relationships that grow between them. It's all about trust and caring, and confidence in pleasing your partner by providing the stimuli they want.

More recently I've tried my hand at erotica. And I have to say, I'm not sure I like it. I mean, yeah, I can write the sex and the physical reactions to the foreplay and all. I can even incorporate spanking, bondage, and other bits of kink, but I'm not feeling it. I don't get the same rush from the situation, from the characters' response to what's happening. It's just sex. Scratching an itch -- so to speak.

In my mind, the key to BDSM, to a D/s relationship is the emotional connection between the participants. It's more about the mind than the body. Creating that bond between the two (or more) people involved in the relationship.

It wasn't until I intentionally tried to write erotica that I truly realized the difference between erotica and erotic romance. When dealing with the characters in an erotica novel, there isn't any real deep emotional connection between them and there isn't any intention for a relationship, and I think that's where I falter. I want that connection. I want that bond. And as the author, I don't enjoy my work if I don't get what I want out of it.

Let me know what you think. I like hearing others' opinions.


  1. Oh, wow. I completely disagree! Your characters will have the relationships you give them, whatever you call the genre you're writing in. Not all relationships are romantic, but if you do want to stick to romance, look at Annabel's books. Hot erotica AND relationships and romance; there you go. My own books are all about relationships, and are also bdsm erotica.

    Why do you lose the connection when you take the erotic elements further?