Friday, November 4, 2011


I have three friends on Fetlife. All three are authors, and they've been really great. When I sent friend requests to them, I was entirely new to the world of erotica-writing, and they've been very helpful and patient, even if they think my books really blow. I thought of sending a friend request to author Annabel Joseph, but her profile said her age was ninety-one, so I figure she's probably pretty tired most days and I should just leave her alone.

I really do experience a lot of rejection on Fet, however. I've sent e-mails to several interesting people in my Groups in hopes of starting a conversation, but no one has ever responded. Maybe I was naive to think that I would have an automatic connection with people on Fetlife like I did with so many on Facebook. It's like if you're one of those people who raises worms for fun and profit, and you meet someone else who raises worms for fun and profit, well, there's a kind of instantaneous bond between the two of you that just can't be easily duplicated.

Maybe one of the reasons I'm not making more connections is my choice of profile pictures, which some people might find intimidating: blonde hair, clear skin, perky breasts, luminous blue eyes, etc. But I don't even know those women! I swear it! Those are just my book covers! You now know from my previous post that I am "a woman of ample bosom," plus I cannot appear naked in front of anyone! So I certainly don't go around pressing my naked breasts up against trees like that one model on the cover of "Her Game, His Rules" is doing. (The things some women will do, I swear!) We do not press our naked breasts against trees in Texas---at least not as a general rule---and I request that you not do that either, no matter where you live. I just ask this because I'm trying to look out for you, because that's what a FRIEND would do. Yes, a friend! Anyway, there's not a single thing to be intimidated about when you view my profile pictures, and I'm glad we cleared that up!

Oh, and get this! I recently e-mailed a woman on Fetlife who does book reviews, and I asked if she would review mine. Her profile says, "If you want to be my friend, just ask!!!" Well, you can imagine what music that was to my almost Fet-friendless ears. So, I sent a friend request along with my inquiry about book reviews. My friend request was not accepted. As for the reviews? She replied, "Since your books are fiction, I just don't feel like it."

She doesn't feel like it? Doesn't feel like it? My fourth-grade teacher once asked me why I wasn't doing such-and-such, and I replied, "Because I don't feel like it." I must say, if more children were raised knowing the meaning of the word rhetorical, the world would be a safer place. I'm just sayin'.

So here's my question: Do you usually find a comfortable, easy acceptance from kinksters on Fet or other sites? That hasn't been my experience so far, but I'll keep trying. I can be as persistent as a rash.


  1. Ha! Saundra, you must just be a bad luck magnet. If you post enough, strangers start making unsolicited friend request to you, and you get to ignore them and turn them down instead of the other way round. ;-) Private conversations that continue a group exchange can do it, too.

    Annabel? Annabel, honey, wake up now. Yes, I know your joints are creaking. What do you think? Does posting a lot attract online friends? Do you need me to say that a little clearer?

  2. I got a friend request today! And get this: she is also ninety-one, just like Annabel!