Thursday, December 15, 2011

Romance and BDSM

Something is really, really wrong with me. When I read a book like, say, my novel Club Mephisto, I find romance in really warped things.

A master treating his slave with disdain and distance? OMG, that's hot. Pulling out the whip for the smallest infraction and making her cry? YES, MORE PLEASE. Ruthlessly denying her orgasms for a week or even longer? Just...unbelievably...hot.

I've decided this puts me at a disadvantage in the romance publishing business. When I wrote Comfort Object, the hero, Jeremy, was quite fond of verbally abusing his sub Nell. Calling her names, calling her a slut, etc. I found this just remarkably hot and sexy. Many of my readers, not so much. It's definitely a problem.

My solution has been to let up on the degradation/humiliation/sadism type of romantic interactions in my books, but every so often it still sneaks into my writing. I really wish sometimes I wasn't turned on by those type of things, so I wouldn't freak out my readers by including them. And by insisting they are romantic, but I really think they are.

Not sure what a pervalicious writer is to do... I suppose I'll have to compose some stern disclaimers in the front matter and hope for the best.

If you are a BDSM writer, do you find yourself editing yourself? If you're a reader, do you tend to roll with the kinks you're not into, or do they ruin the romance for you?

4 comments:

  1. Having been part of the scene for over 35 years and married to my Dom for 33 years (next week), believe me when I say that I find romance in the same things you do. Now I do love traditional romance, too, but one without the other is hollow for me.

    So in answer to your question, it doesn't ruin the romance, it ramps it way up.

    Hugs,
    Donna

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  2. In my opinion, as long as he cuddles her and pets her after, he can call her anything he wants. :D

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  3. Kind of funny this popped up, since last night I finished Comfort Object. Jeremy was perfect to me. The hero in Mercy was too cold to me, I couldn't see that golden heart of his nor could I understand where his insecurities stemmed from. The hero from Owning Wednesday swung the other way, almost too perfect. For me, at least, Jeremy was just right. He really was such an ass, but he was also so endearing and sweet at others. Maybe part of it was that I connected with Nell better than the other heroines, so I was able to see him through her eyes. But mostly I think that the lesson is that readers are fickle.

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  4. Those things aren't necessarily "hot" to me in real life. But, I have always found the way you write them to be incredibly hot. To me, as long as the character on the receiving end is turned on by it, that is what matters and makes it hot for me to read. I think some of the problem is that readers can't separate themselves from the book. Just because they can't wrap their heads around a kink, it must not be good.

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