Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A great big leather boot out of the closet

I’ve been invited to be on a panel on m/s erotic fiction with Laura Antoniou and David Stein at the next Masters/Slaves conference. (The panel’s not for sure yet, but probably will be.) Wow!

This makes my head buzz, for a bunch of reasons. One, sharing the stage with these folks would be one hell of an honour. Two, this is right out of the blue. Let’s face it, even in bdsm circles, as an author I’m pretty obscure and anything but prolific. With only two books to my credit, I lack the exposure that comes with a string of publications. Not many people in the room will have heard of me. Three, even worse, I’m so deep in the closet that (as I’ve said more than once), I might as well be in Narnia. I’ve never appeared publicly, gone to a fetish event or attended so much as a munch. I’m about to go from hiding in the White Queen’s sleigh to a stage with Laura Antoniou. How would you feel?

Yes, I’m going. I can’t pass up a chance like this. And hell, it’s not till Labour Day weekend; no need to worry just yet. I can start worrying in June. About things like – ye gods! – what the hell I’m going to wear! And what if someone from my other life recognizes me? (Yeah, supposedly they’ll be as embarrassed as I am – sure. They can read my books and know waaaaay more about my deranged mind than I will ever know about them.) And what on earth do I talk to leather folks about? Me with my vast experience – not. People go to these things year after year; they’ll all know each other, and I’ll be skirting the walls trying to look like I’m not in the least uncomfortable.

And if there’s some private event I get to see, with sex going on, where the hell do I look? Eek! One of the reasons I’m so deep in the closet is that sex and bdsm are very, very private for me. I honestly don’t want to see people engaging in naughty acts out in the open. At least I don’t think I do. Do I?

Don’t ask me if I want to participate. The answer’s no. Zero ambiguity there.

It will of course be a good opportunity for me to sell my books. (Safely with the vendors! Whew!) And it occurred to me that I might be able to use this to push myself to get Book Three written so I can promote it at the event. I doubt I can get it done in time, my schedule and writing speed being what they are. The other two books took me years. But I’m going to at least give it a shot. It’s what I’ve needed all along – a deadline! The procrastinator’s friend! Hurray!

One good thing – it’s got to be good for at least two or three blog posts, don’t you think?


  1. Is there any way to specify that no photos be taken? I know you wouldn't want to jeopardize your day job, or pull your husband and children into the light if they don't want to be.