I don't generally like sad books. Books are my escape, I don't want them to make me sad. It would be like going on a vacation that's going to make you cry. I understand some people seek out sad books, they enjoy letting their emotions go on that up and down roller coaster. I'm not saying that's wrong, I mean, hey, I crave the feel of the flogger -- I totally understand seeking out an experience others actively try to avoid.
A little over a year ago I came very close to losing my husband. It took seven hours of surgery for the doctors to bring him back to me. It was touch and go for a few days after the surgery, when the doctors and nurses still weren't assuring me he was going to pull through. I sat beside his hospital bed with my laptop and wrote, the hours turning into days. My parents kept our girls, took them to school, fed them. I saw them in the mornings on webcam, helped them with their homework in the evenings on webcam. I didn't leave his side.
It sounds morbid, but during this time I wrote the beginning of a book that involved a submissive who had lost her husband a few years before. She'd rebuilt her life, rebuilt who she was, and was finally beginning to date. When the doctors finally decreed my husband was going to live, going to make it, I didn't need to write on that book anymore. Couldn't write on it anymore. I needed to focus on the fact that I was going to be able to take him home, eventually. It took months for him to fully recover, but he did.
I recently pulled out the 34,000 words I wrote when I wasn't sure he was going to make it, and began working on it again. It was a good beginning and middle, and I know how it's going to end, now. But last week, as I was writing a particularly emotional part, I cried for hours as I wrote. Not just a few tears, but the boo-hoo balling type of crying, where you have to keep blowing your nose to keep the snot from running down your face (sorry, was that TMI?).
I always wondered why people wrote sad stories, and now I think I have an idea. This one isn't going to end sad though, it's going to have a happy ending. Or, that's the plan.
The book releasing this Friday, Safeword: Matte, is not sad. In fact, it's a pretty freewheeling happy book without a ton of things trying to pull the couple apart. It's the antithesis of the book I'm writing now. A totally different muse was in charge of that one.
Do you like sad books? Or are you like me, and avoid them like the plague?