Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Kinky Kiss and Tell - Sten from Lust Plague, by Cari Silverwood


Hot on the trail of rumors of a vast area of deepest Europe being depopulated by a deadly zombie plague, we sent our intrepid reporter, Joanne Vax, to London airfield to interview survivors. Here is her exclusive report, transcribed live.

Many of the survivors refused to talk to me but they did refer me to one man, Sten, who is a frankenstruct – from a clone line that was given double-muscling and extreme warrior characteristics. I decided to track him down but tread carefully. Getting my head chewed off wasn’t on my list of things to do.

I found him checking the underside of an airship, the Princess Kay. The wind gusts tore at my notepad, flapping the sheets, and roaring in my ears.  He’s a very big man and wearing a plain navy woolen shirt with short sleeves and dark gray trousers. The large weapon sheathed at his back appears to be a shotgun. When I’m a few feet away his single gold earring resolves into a wolf’s head.

“Mr. Sten?” I grip a page that tries to tear free. “Sorry, I don’t know your last name!”

He stares at me while curled strands of his sandy hair whip across his forehead.

“Um…” Right, no last name. I draw a shaky line across that question.

“I was wondering, sir, if you’d answer a few questions regarding the rumors about a plague.” Caught by the cold, I hug myself, shiver, and rub my upper arms.

When he reaches up toward that shotgun butt and scratches his head, I jump.  I never liked guns.

“Well.” The depth of his voice surprises me, all the way down to my toes. He screws up his face, then shrugs.  “If you want to come with me while I check the Princess Kay, I’ll do my best. But no questions about any plague.” He grins.

None? Hell. Is it a secret then? Hmm. Maybe I can sneak some in. “Okay.

 I pump more ink into my fountain pen, ready to write. Asking questions while trailing along behind is odd, yet nice. I get to admire his broad shoulders. The man’s handsome in a rough and ready way. He seems to be poking every nook and cranny up there. Why, I have no idea.

“I’ve heard, sir, that you fell in love with an airship captain, a Kaysana Onomi? Can you tell me what your favorite thing is about her?”

He sniffs, then tosses his reply back. “Her hair – it’s beautiful. Like black silk. Oh, and the way she can tear a new asshole in anyone who annoys her. Sooo sexy.”

Uh. Really? I must remember that one for my next boyfriend “And” – I skip over a nest of large hoses piled on the tarmac – “and her most annoying trait?”

“Same! Because sometimes she tries it on me.” He sends a dark look at me over his shoulder. “And then I take her by the hair, hold her against a wall and pinch her nipples until she squeaks. Hehe. Damn fun.”

I swallow. I think my panties just got wet.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Fuck! What a question! Privacy, woman. Next!”

And now my hands are shaking again. I stare at the next question:  What sexual talent of Kaysana’s is your favorite? No way. I scribble that one out.

“Right,” I mutter. “If there was something you could change about the first few weeks you knew Kaysana, what would it be?”

Wooo. Uh. Less death, less people dying. Yeah that one. Maybe a holiday on the beach would have been nicer.”

Sneaky question time, Jo. Go for it. I nibble my lip. “So, these dead wouldn’t have been zombies, would they?”

His look is icy as a blizzard. “Bad question, Joanne. They were dead. Dead is always not good. Okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper while furiously nodding. Back away slow. “Um. Which do you prefer, coffee, tea, or something else?” Extract of cobra venom…napalm…blood of stupid reporter? I half-expect one of those.

“Coffee.”

God. A normal answer. How strange.

“What addiction can you not live without?”

His footsteps slow and he gazes off into the distance for a while. There’s only a gray London fog, so I know he’s thinking.

“Waking up next to my woman and being able to reach out and touch her and know we’re going to be doing this for a long long time.” He turns and puts out a hand to help me over a pile of tarpaulins. “Almost done. Just the reserve cargo hold. No one’s been in there since the ship got retrieved in Tibet.

“Oh.” Tibet – according to rumor, that was the dead center of this non-existent plague. I grip my pen tightly, like I can maybe use it to skewer anything dangerous that pops up.

I watch as he slides his shotgun free and flicks off some catch. He spins the middle gold chamber. I see the ends of bullets glint as they roll past. “Are we…safe?”

“Sure.” He uses a long hooked stick to undo the catch on the cargo bay above us. The door folds down with a hiss of hydraulics and something man-sized falls out.

“Run!” Sten yells.

After one mind-melting scream I bolt back over the tarpaulins and cower there, hiding.

The thing rises from the ground snarling. Gore and yellow ooze drips from the man’s open mouth. Something catches my eye. His mouth isn’t openhe has no lower jaw. The smell of putrid flesh rolls over me like a fat cloud, so thick I can taste it on my tongue. I retch.

“Damn.” Sten sighs, lifts his shotgun.

The thing lunges for him. Its blackened fingers flop backward as if hinged the wrong way.

Sten pulls the trigger. The boom of the gun deafens me and echoes. When I look up the thing is on the ground in pieces.  One last grope from its dismembered hand – I hear the fingernails scrape on the tarpaulin a foot from my nose – then it ceases to move. My heart is pounding so loudly I think it wants to leave home.

“Sorry ’bout that,” Sten announces. He flips a loose piece of tarp over the body and the pieces. “Any more questions?”

My teeth chatter a little before I choke the words out. “What…what do you most fear?” It’s a question on my list and so damn right just then.

Oooh. Snakes? Yeah, snakes.”

I try not to look bug-eyed. “Not zombies?”

“Hah! Zombies? They don’t exist.” Grinning, he plants his foot right on the biggest bulge in the tarp. It squelches. “Do they, Miss Vax?”

“Um. No?”

“Good answer. Very. Good. Answer.”

I smile stiffly then shake the hand he offers. I am never ever visiting Tibet.



If you'd like to read more of Sten's story, you can visit's the author's website, CariSilverwood.net, or you can purchase a copy of Lust Plague (Steamwork Chronicles Book 2) at these bookstores:

Cari Silverwood is being interviewed over at  mrsconditreadsbooks.com today, where she'll be talking about her Steamworks Series.
 


2 comments:

  1. Oh my, now that's an interesting interview! Sounds like the reporter sure had her work cut out for her. I wonder what it would have been like if Kaysana had been there as well?

    Qwillia

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  2. Good question, Qwilia. Made me think. Kaysana would've A. Helped take down the zombie. More zombie bits everywhere. Poor thing. And B.. Both comforted Joanne and told her firmly that her questions were going the wrong way. Then she and Sten could have a big hug....sigh ;)

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