Monday, April 23, 2012

Kinky Kiss and Tell - Tansy Roberts from Named and Shamed, by Janine Ashbless


Today we are interviewing Tansy Roberts, who became notorious when Janine Ashbless wrote a book about her sexual adventures with the fairies, entitled “Named and Shamed”. Here's what Tansy had to say:


What is your favorite ice cream?
I remember a chocolate coconut one. Oh, I miss that! Ever since Them There (can I say “The Fairies” here? Is it safe?) came back … well, there’s not been that much chocolate or coconut available here. It’s just too dangerous to get freight shipping through the mists, I guess.

How did you meet the Ganconer?
I desperately needed a favour for a friend, and the Ganconer volunteered to help if I’d have sex with him. Which I didn’t mind at all, at the time, because he’s HOT. I mean … sort of David Beckham looking. Remember him?
Let me tell you – never judge a book by its cover. I got into a whole world of trouble that night.

What does the Ganconer do that is most annoying?
Well, I’d have to say that putting me under a death-curse when we fucked, and then refusing to lift it unless I found out his secret name … that was fairly annoying. But hey, I rose to the challenge.

What is the craziest place you've had sex?
In Fairyland. In the Seelie Court of the Cornovii. That was fairly crazy by almost any standards, although at least I managed to get out before it turned Unseelie. I’ve also had sex in a garage workshop (with 5 men), on a table in a public restaurant, over the back trunk of a police car, over a pool table in a bar (yes, it was full of people), in a wood (lots), a bus stop and a stables. Among other places. I’ve been busy.

What addiction can you not live without?
Sex. I mean that literally. That’s the nature of the Ganconer’s curse, or a part of it, anyway. I’ve learned to manage it, of course. With help from a lot of people. Uh … yeah, this is a bit embarrassing. Although everyone who’s read the book knows that I like several guys at once, and I’ve got a bit of a thing for public display and humiliation. That Named and Shamed book even has line illustrations by John LaChatte of my most wild and degrading moments.
So yes, ‘fessing-up in this interview … that’s turning me on too.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
The King of the Fairies gave me this pair of boots … well, they’re like long gladiator sandals actually, all red leather strapping, right up to the knee. I love those. I’ve still got them, actually.
They go with the red leather straps I had to wear when I was kept in his kennels, but I was only allowed to wear the boots when he took me outside the palace, to get me laid. But you’ll be disappointed to hear that they’re flats. Come on – I’m six foot as it is! If I wore heels I’d look ridiculously tall.

What would you like to come back as if you're reincarnated?
I have a feeling I’d come back as a ferret. I read that if a female ferret doesn’t have sex, she actually sickens and dies … so ferret-fanciers keep vasectomised males called hoblets to keep the girls happy. That sounds a lot like me.

If you could be in a (different) book, which book would it be?
My life already reads like “Rumpelstiltskin,” only with less straw, and more crazy perverted sex.

If your life were a book, what would you prefer the author not tell readers about you?
Well, that Ashbless cow has already told everyone that it was my own fault I needed a favour from the Ganconer. I’d “borrowed” an original manuscript copy of the poem “Goblin Market” by Christina Rossetti, from a collector. I really did mean to return it before he got eaten by his mistress. (I do mean eaten – she’s an ogress. You know – twelve foot tall, big muscles, bites people’s heads off and grinds their bones to make her bread … you get the picture). Is it my fault I mislaid the manuscript?
Well, okay, yes– it is my fault. But I put it right. I don’t wash my hands of stuff like that, no matter what the cost.

Do you have any advice for our readers?
Hell yes! – don’t go out after dusk. Always leave your house-hobgoblin a saucer of cream at night. Carry salt and iron nails and rowan twigs in your pocket at ALL TIMES. If you find yourself unable to find the exit from a mall or parking lot, take your clothes off and put them on again inside-out. And if you meet a fairy – BE POLITE. It might save your life.
No promises, though.

Who, living or dead, would be your hero if you have one.
Huh. Jack the Giant Killer.

If you'd like to read more of Tansy's story, you can visit's the author's website, JanineAshbless.com, or you can purchase a copy of Named and Shamed at these bookstores:
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5 comments:

  1. "Well, I’d have to say that putting me under a death-curse when we fucked, and then refusing to lift it unless I found out his secret name … that was fairly annoying."

    LOL. Brava, "Tansy"!

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  2. She's a snarky one, isn't she? And not terribly grateful for all my work writing her story, I have to say!

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  3. Are the characters ever grateful for the work we authors put into writing their stories? Tansy sounds very interesting and her adventures quite steamy. LOL

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  4. Right...so I went onto GR and this book doesn't exist yet. Undaunted I went over to Amazon where this book is out of print in the US. Not available in the UK and Sweetmeat says coming soon. I guess this means, I wait a bit? I like the premise and I want to read it. ^_^

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  5. Hiya Qwillia and La Crimson Femme - yes, Named and Shamed is actually at the printers as we speak. I booked this slot for Tansy a few weeks ago and wasn't sure if it'd actually be available by now. It turns out not :-(

    But soon! It'll be out on sale sometime in May, so please do try again if you want to read it!

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