Friday, August 17, 2012

No Nookie Without Motivation

I can't write sex.

I mean really, seriously, I just finished writing the first book in a short series and the only scene I couldn't write was the sex scene. Worse yet, I couldn't write the kink either. Of course I tried and tried to write both, but it was like attempting to eat soup with a fork--and almost as ridiculous looking.

Then my friend (I hate you by the way--but not in a bad way) Elijana Kindel pointed out something that I should have known or noticed long before. "There's no reason Rose needs to have sex with Ibraham." No reason? It's a romance novel, an erotic romance novel. There's every reason why they need to have sex by this scene in the book. Nookie is necessary to drive the plot forward....

That's when she pelted me in the face with logic and reality -- "You're not a plot driven writer." And I'm not, but apparently I've been trying to be plot-driven for a while now, and it's messed with my writing mojo jojo.

For me, as Elijana so graciously pointed out, the sex between my characters is driven by their growth. Which in turn, is impelled forward by the establishment and increased trust developing between them. This is an important factor for me -- trust. Important because it's the varying levels of trust that allow my subs to enter freely into relationships with their Doms.

I'm all about trust. Because what's more important to a person's decision to hand over their body and heart to someone than trust? If they feel, even the slightest bit hesitant that their gift will be respected and treated appropriately by their lover, then it will show in their responses. The pleasure won't be there, or not as much as it could be.

So, in my world trust is key. There isn't any sex without affection. There isn't any affection without trust. Most importantly for me and my characters, there's no kink if there is no trust. Many times my characters instinctively trust their partners, but the head tends to override the gut until it gets on board and can see the fun that can be had.

So, while I have walked my way around my temp job for the last three days, I have slowly and methodically begun to draw the picture of just how the motivation of my characters and their growth as individuals is bound to their developing Dom/sub relationships. With luck readers will like my Poker Posse series.

Must run now...temp job awaits! Have a great weekend.


  1. Considering that I've read all of your books, I think you write the sex scenes just fine (better than fine). But, they don't really need to be there. As I've tried to explain to many "vanilla" people, BDSM isn't just about sex or pain. The trust, communication, honesty and power exchange are the main points.
    Thanks for the blog post.

  2. Thank you Becki, for your words of encouragement. I appreciate that you understand the importance of trust and communication and I'm glad I seem to be able to translate my thoughts onto the page as well as I hoped.
    Have a great weekend.