Thursday, September 6, 2012

To cry or not to cry...

I decided to write on this topic last week while going over my latest manuscript. Once again, I had to take out about half the instances of my heroine crying. She was bursting into tears right and left.

I don't know why my heroines cry so much, except that I myself cry so much. When there's some emotional reaction or strong feeling, my personal instinct 99% of the time is to start bawling. Believe me, it's awkward. Yes, I'm the mom who stands in the pediatrician's office crying because my kids had to get a shot, I'm the wife who starts crying during every argument large and small my husband and I have ever had. I cry at concerts, ballets, movies, or anything I find beautiful. I cry when I find something too funny. It's really embarrassing.

Ironically, I never cry during D/s scenes. I'm not sure what's going on with that. I've always wanted to cry and often feel the impulse to cry, but I don't. To me, tears would indicate complete surrender and I suppose I never want to be at that point. I know for a lot of people, that's the whole purpose of D/s, to cede control and feel the adrenaline of completely risking themselves, but I think for others it's more the push and shove they enjoy. Once I surrender, the fun's over in a way.

But I'm the first to admit that D/s and tears go together like chocolate and peanut butter. Dacryphilia aside, tears are a great way to signal to your partner where you are on the pain continuum, for instance, and also a beautiful expression of human emotion. It's a way of signalling your vulnurability to another person.

What's your stance on tears? Are you a crier, or one of those who tends to buck up and remain dry-eyed? Do you get annoyed when fictional characters cry too much, or do you find it moving?


  1. I enjoy seeing characters reduced to tears, unless it seems out of character for them. Or maybe especially then. :)

    In real life, emotional pain is a lot more likely to have me in tears than physical, in D/s or any other context. Unless it's being administered for correction, I'll laugh (or swear) at physical pain, but I might cry if I'm pushed far enough in a play scene. We'll have to see. If I feel like I've disappointed Mr Robin (which doesn't happen often), I'll cry off and on all day until correction time rolls around. Then I cry afterward from the relief.