Friday, December 21, 2012

A Lesson In Thud and Sting

I've been absent for a very long time...sorry about that, I've been dealing with some writing issues...more along the lines of writer's block, so I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things.

Ironic that my return post should land on the date of the Mayan Apocalypse, 12/21/2012. LOL. Maybe something is trying to give me a hint. I figure I'll get my feet wet with a cute little story, then eventually move into heavier subjects next year. What I have to share is a short anecdote of an event when I attended a writer's conference in Atlanta, Georgia in October.

I've been to this specific conference twice before, but this was the first time I learned that there was a sex furniture warehouse just ten minutes from the hotel where I was staying. This prompted a field trip of course, and oh the toys I found!

The funny thing was, one of the ladies I knew at the conference, who told me about the shop, gave me a strange look when I told her I preferred sting over thud.

"Sting over thud?" Her expression was definitely confused.

As a teacher, I took this as a teaching opportunity, so I picked up a few of the toys in the store. One was a riding crop, the second was a whip tipped crop, and the third was a short flogger. I used the whip tipped crop first, just a light strike on my friend's forearm.

"Ow!" That was her response, but she laughed as well.

Then I used the riding crop and she got a pensive look. "Hmm, I could handle that," she told me.

Then I used the flogger. Lightly the first time which received the same response as the riding crop, then a heavier strike that got the same reaction as the whip tip. "Ow."

It was so interesting to see the different reactions then measure them against what I know about myself. Apparently, thud is more appealing to my friend, while I much prefer sting.

Now, with the new time beginning today, I have to say, one of the first things I'm putting on my mission list: Find someone who knows how to provide some wonderful sting sensations.

Here's hoping the world keeps going on after tomorrow/today 12/21/2012. Let me know what you think or which you prefer--sting or thud.

Have a great holiday season!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Kink Monday -- Objectification

I’ve been immersed in the objectification experience for months as I’ve worked on my latest, Safeword: Quinacridone.

Several of my beta readers warned me ahead of time they weren’t into objectification, but I was fine with this because my intention had been  to write so even those without an objectification fetish would enjoy the experiences, and I looked forward to seeing how they reacted to the various scenes and to the story as a whole. 

Imagine my surprise when these women changed their minds partway through the book. It isn’t a matter of them taking on a new kink, but of understanding part of what motivates them to submit.

When you mention the subject, most seem to think of someone on hands and knees while being used as a footstool; but there are so many other ways to turn someone into an object. Imaging lying on your back with your hands and feet bound together and restrained to the headboard, and a curtain draping from a canopy above so it puddles on the backs of your thighs. You can’t see the person using you, and all they see is your genitals.

Masks and hoods can also take away a person’s identity, as can a bald cap and dramatic makeup. Or how about skipping the bald cap and having one’s head shaved? This isn’t about humiliation, so wigs would be allowed when in public, but in private... How much of our individuality is tied up in our hair?

Because objectification can take some extreme turns, I have my couple explore how far others have traveled through the rabbit hole as they decide how deep they wish to dive. This allowed me to show the scariest extremes and fully explore the subject beyond what I've personally experienced, or would ever want to personally experience.

However, you don’t have to be so extreme — taking one’s ability to speak, forbidding eye contact, allowing one to only kneel and crawl, forbidding clothes — these all serve to objectify and are seen in many BDSM scenarios. Pony, puppy, and kitten play also serve a similar purpose; while they don't so much objectify, they do take away one’s humanity.

Do you believe part of your kink involves objectification?