Thursday, January 10, 2013

Money and Kink

I was drawn into a discussion recently about "Sugar Babies." A Sugar Baby is the youthful recipient of the attentions of an older, ostensibly wealthy Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mama.

When I think about Sugar Babies I immediately think about Anna Nicole Smith and her marriage to her extremely elderly and wealthy husband. There is something very warped, and therefore very kinky, about offering your youth and sexuality in exchange for money. In a less extreme example, there's Molly and Clayton in my Club Mephisto series.

Clayton's no octogenarian (ugh) but he was significantly older and wealthier than Molly when he fell in love with her. In the public world they are husband and wife, but privately they have a rigid Master and slave relationship that is very much based on a) power differential and b) Molly pleasing Clayton sexually. Mephisto calls her a "pleasure slave" but for Clayton, surely, she's a Sugar Baby, a young, pretty, sexy thing to play with whenever he wanted in exchange for his money and influence. (And love. He loves her, of course!) I don't believe Molly married Clayton for his money, but I do believe that without his money, their relationship couldn't have been as rigid and stylized as it was.

To be honest, my husband and I dip into Sugar Daddy territory sometimes, even though we're the same age. It's kinky fun for me to feel kept, to feel beholden to him for his money and approval, and I know for a fact that he likes to feel some ownership of me, monetarily and otherwise. Is it "real" ownership? Of course not. Would I really enjoy being dependent on someone financially? I don't think anyone enjoys that necessity in real life, but when you add a gloss of fetish over the top of it, it transforms from something desperate to something sexy. Ah, the magic of kink.

Money and kink also crops up in the whole "Financial Slavery" deal where the slave works only to happily give over all their earnings to a Master or Mistress. It's like Sugar Baby territory, only reversed. Now the submissive party is coughing up the money and the dominant party is taking it away. I can't say I would enjoy working for someone else's benefit, especially if I wasn't getting something in return like a "Sugar Daddy" or "Sugar Mama" does. But, for people who are into Financial Slavery, they must be getting something in return, some pleasure or satisfaction out of the arrangement. Again, the magic of kink.

Even if it's not always at the front of our minds, money is a huge part of power exchange, both in the real world and kinky world. How many romance heroes are poor and optionless? Not very many. Mastery almost always requires some type of power as far as agency or money. It's very hard to get away from financial influence even in the horny world of sex. Weird, huh? What's that saying? Money and sex make the world go round?

Oh, no, it's LOVE that's supposed to make the world go round. Hmm...

I'm not completely sure I agree with that. :)